Erin Eats: February 2006

Monday, February 27, 2006

French Dip Sandwiches

This is definitely one of my comfort food meals, mainly because my mom made these french dips for us when we were kids, and we always loved them. I didn't really even have to lighten them up to get them under my calorie goal, except Mom always buttered the rolls, but they toasted up just fine with a small bit of olive oil.

French Dip Sandwiches

8 oz. deli roast beef, sliced thin
2 deli rolls, cut in half lengthwise
4 tsps. mayonnaise
1 tsp. olive oil
1 packet. au jus gravy mix
240 g. carrots, boiled with salt or steamed

In a nonstick pan on medium heat, drizzle the 1/2 tsp. olive oil evenly over the pan. Place the rolls cut-side down in the pan and let them toast until they're a little darker than golden. Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, prepare the au jus according to package directions, then remove from heat and add th roast beef to the au jus for 15-30 seconds, just to warm it through. Remove the roast beef and let drain on paper towells. When rolls are browned, spread a teaspoon of mayonnaise on each side and layer half the meat on each roll. Serve with 1/4 cup. au jus and half the carrots.

Makes two servings, 494.25 calories per serving.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

FUDGE!

What is this? Isn't this supposed to be a diet blog? What the hell is a big fat piece of brownie/cake doing sitting on my screen? I'm sure you're saying exactly that, RIGHT? Ok, so I'm dramatic, but THAT is what I said last night, (minus the blog bit, and the screen bit) when my husband came home with two big pieces of this chocolate... brownie? cake? I don't know what it is, but it looks GOOD. He went to a family dinner (and in his family, that's a lot of people) which means there were 10, or so, very typical Utah dishes. Which isn't saying that's a bad thing, you just know what to expect. There's always some form of potato/cheese casserole, and always an over-the-top dessert (usually involving jello). But this, this chocolatey piece of ... chocolate ... is not the typical jello-inspired dessert. Just look at that top, it looks like fudge. FUDGE. I'm a chubber because of my love for things like fudge.

So did I eat them? No. They're sitting wrapped up on the counter, waiting impatiently for the one who is going to devour them. He's working. I'm home alone and my kitchen is being held hostage by fudge.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Lemon Zest and Ginger Shortbread Cookies

Because I'm on a low-calorie diet, I haven't even considered eating sweets, but today, my sweet tooth got the best of me. I decided on shortbread cookies because they're easy and classic, but my husband is a bit of a ginger fanatic, so, I had lemons and ginger on hand, and I love them both enough to just throw them both in.

Lemon Zest and Ginger Shortbread Cookies

1 C. Flour (125g) (455 calories)
1 stick butter (800 calories)
1/3 cup. powdered sugar (40g) (156 calories)
1/4 tsp. fresh grated ginger
1 tsp. fresh grated lemon zest
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
Seeds of 1 vanilla bean

Preheat oven to 300°F. In a medium bowl, cream butter with the grated ginger, vanilla extract, vanilla seeds, and lemon zest. Add the flour and the sugar just until combined.

Lightly pack the mixture into an 8-inch springform pan. Crimp around the edge with floured fork tines, and bake for about 30 minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove from oven and quickly, but gently, cut into 12 wedges, then leave in pan to cool completely. Loosen edges of cookies from the pan, and release the pan round. Remove wedges... and enjoy!

Makes 12 cookies, about 118 calories each.

Calorie-Count Toolbar Update: Don't download it!

A few days ago, I made a post explaining how I count calories. In that post I recommended the calorie-count toolbar, even though I generally loathe toolbars. Turns out, this toolbar is so loaded with spyware, we couldn't simply delete it, we had to format my computer to get rid of it entirely. Grr. So I hope nobody installed it, and if you did, I can only apologize and advise you run a spyware detection program to get rid of what you can. Damnit, I used that thing several times a day - no strings attached just simply doesn't exist online, I guess.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Profiteroles à la Marilyn with Low Calorie Chicken Salad

Since I can remember, my gramma has been making profiteroles, or cream puffs. She usually puts a mixture of whipped cream and vanilla pudding inside, which is obviously delicious. For my wedding, she managed to make around 200 profiteroles and stuffed them with a chicken salad mixture - they were a HUGE hit.

Today, I joined my gramma in making about 150 profiteroles for her church function on Saturday. She'd had a mishap with one of her baking racks, so we had to rig the oven to support two trays, and then we still had to do four batches.

Profiteroles à la Marilyn
1 cup water
1 cup flour (455 calories)
1 stick margarine (640 calories)
4 extra-large eggs (85 calories each)

Preheat oven to 375°F. In a saucepan, bring water and margarine to a boil. Add flour all at once and stir rapidly with a wooden spoon until the ingredients form a ball in the middle of the pan. Remove from heat, add 4 eggs and stir rapidly until the mixture becomes a smooth paste - it takes a minute, be patient! Drop rounded half-teaspoon-fulls (the ones you eat with, not the ones you measure with)onto 2 un-greased cookie sheets, rows of 5, columns of 7. Bake for 30 minutes, or until they are firm to the touch. If they start to get browner than you'd like (they should be golden), turn the oven down to 325° and let the profiteroles dry out a bit. Squeeze the sides gently, if they give, they aren't finished. Remove from baking sheet and, depending on how you're filling them, either poke on the side with a skewer to let steam escape, or cut profiteroles in half.

*She doesn't add salt because the margarine has enough, if you're using unsalted butter instead of margarine, add a pinch of salt to the boiling water.

Makes 70 bite-sized profiteroles, 20.5 calories each -or- 30 double-bite sized profiteroles, 48 calories each -or- 15 large profiteroles, 95.75 calories each.

In true Grandma fashion, Gramma insisted that I take a batch home, so I threw together a simple chicken salad to stuff these for a quick dinner.

Low Calorie Chicken Salad
170 g. (6 oz) poached chicken breast, 1/2-inch cubes (about 1 large breast) (280 calories)
50 g. lowfat plain yogurt (33 calories)
2 tsp. fresh lime juice (2 calories)
1 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped (1 calorie)
1/4 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. black pepper

Makes two servings, 158 calories per serving.

I stuffed 8 30-count profiteroles, 4 per person for a total calorie count of 350 DELICIOUS calories per person.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Blogher Article thanks to Kalyn

I want to give a big THANK YOU to Kalyn for this feature in her blogher article. Go read her articles, you'll get a lot out of them!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Leftovers: Quesadilla

I love cooking with leftovers, though I'm not all that creative with them. Next time I'll omit the avacado and scramble two egg whites with the leftover meat.

1 serving, 353 calories.

Low Calorie Turkey and Cheese Quesadilla Recipe

2 6" white corn tortillas - 110 calories
28 g. reduced fat cheddar cheese - 90 calories
40 g. leftover Turkey Taco meat - 85 calories
1 tsp. Tomatillo Salsa - 2 calories
2 Tbsps. (30g.) non-fat sour cream - 20 calories
15 g. avocado- 36 calories

Reheat your turkey mixture. Preheat a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Place 1 tortilla in pan, spread half of the tomatillo salsa over the tortilla, then sprinkle on half of the cheese evenly. Sprinkle on the meat, then the rest of the cheese. Spread remaining tortilla with the other teaspoon of salsa, and place on top of the pan ingredients. When the cheese on the bottom has melted, carefully flip the quesadilla and wait for the cheese on the second half to melt. Remove from pan, top with avocado and sour cream.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Turkey Tacos

Turkey Tacos, read recipe for full ingredient list.

249.5 calories per taco, I ate two.

It's a bit frustrating when you're trying to eat lean, but also enjoy what you're eating. I'm a piggy and could have eaten three of these, easily. Still, for tacos, the calorie content is much better than if I had used full-calorie products, and since I don't eat red meat very often, the taste of the turkey replacing the beef wasn't even noticable. These were fantastic.

Low Calorie Turkey Tacos Recipe

Taco Meat:
565g. ground turkey 98% fat free - 595 calories
86g. onion - 35 calories
82g. green bell pepper - 24 calories
185g. tomatoes - 33 calories
11g. garlic - 15 calories
33g. tomato paste - 30 calories
1/2 tsp. olive oil - 7 calories
1 tsp. thyme - 1 calorie
1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes - 0 calories
1 bay leaf - 0 calories
2 tsps. ground coriander - 10 calories
2 tsps. ground cumin - 15 calories
salt to taste

Preheat skillet with 1/2 tsp. of oil, saute garlic, onion, bell pepper, bay leaf, and red pepper flakes together until onions are translucent. Add the meat, tomato paste, and the rest of the seasonings, cook through. Add tomatoes and let cook for about 4 minutes, just until tomatoes are soft and release a bit of their juice.

Taco meat mixture: 765 calories and 720 grams total weight. This mix makes 18 - 40g. servings, 42.5 calories per serving.

Addons Per taco:
1 - 6" white corn tortilla - 55 calories
40g. taco meat mixture - 42.5 calories
olives - 10g. - 17 calories
avocado - 15g. - 36 calories
non-fat sour cream - 1 tbsp per taco - 10 calories
reduced fat mild cheddar cheese - 7g. - 30 calories
6" white corn tortilla - 55 calories
2 teaspoons Tomatillo Salsa - about 4 calories

With all addons, 1 taco is 249.5 calories.

Counting Calories

I've been asked how I count calories, or more precisely, how I find the caloric content in foods. Here are some tips:

Make sure to measure everything, except for oil, which I measure in teaspoons or tablespoons. I use this Salter kitchen scale that I bought at SurLaTable for $40 and weigh in grams. That way you can go by package guides for portions, and you can measure out more or less than what it says on the package, and figure out how many calories are in the food by using your handy math skills. This is also good for things that don't come with their own nutrition information, like fruits, veggies, and some meats, which you can look up online. If you're going looking for a kitchen scale, make sure to find one that has a tare feature (meaning you can put a bowl or plate on the scale, hit the tare button, and it will read 0, so you're only measuring the food, not the weight of the bowl) and weighs down to the gram and to one tenth of an ounce, as you want to be as accurate as possible. I keep a notepad right by the scale and write everything down as I go, making sure to note the weight and calories from package information, and to write down the grams of things that I don't have ready caloric content for.

I look up the caloric content online in a few places. calorie-count.com is a good site, but don't use the toolbar, it's loaded with some nasty spyware. There's also AnneCollins.com, which I use on occasion, I'm sure there are others out there.

If you're trying to lose weight or if you just want to know how many calories you're consuming, this is a simple way to figure it out. I hope this wasn't too confusing. If you have a better/easier way of doing this, I'd love to hear it.

edit: This link: http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/calories-goal.php should take you to a page on that calorie-count site that helps you figure your weight goal, when you want to reach that goal, and how many calories you need to stay at each day to reach your goal.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Salmon with Tomatillo Salsa, Artichokes, and Cottage Cheese

Salmon, or fish in general, is one of those foods that I didn't eat as a child, so I was weary of it. Around age 22, after reading about all of the good fats in salmon (and things like olive oil and avocados), I decided I would make myself like fish. It took a year, or so, before I didn't need my fish smothered in lemon juice, though I still prefer it with citrus.

This was the first time I've tried a salsa verde, or anything with tomatillos, I wasn't expecting them to be so sticky underneath their paper casing. What a treat this salsa is! I'm so used to having my salmon with salt and lemon, this was a great retreat from that.

Salmon with Tomatillo Salsa, Artichokes with Lemon, and Non-fat Cottage Cheese

1 serving, 340 calories.

Salmon with Tomatillo Salsa, Artichokes with Lemon, and Non-fat Cottage Cheese Recipe

I looked all over online and found loads of recipes for a salsa verde, so I combined aspects of all the recipes and came up with this:

Tomatillo Salsa
2 medium tomatillos
1/4-1/2 jalapeno (depending on how hot you like it)
1/4 onion
1 fat garlic clove
1 palm-full fresh parsley
1 palm-full fresh cilantro
Juice of 1 lime
Salt and Pepper to taste

Cook the tomatillos, garlic, and onion, in boiling water for about 10 minutes. Remove veggies from water and cool. Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender and puree until nearly smooth, a little chunk is nice.

Salmon
1 3.5 oz. salmon fillet
juice from 1/2 lime (optional)
salt to taste

Preheat oven to 350, salt fillet on both sides, place in baking dish and squeeze the lime over the top. Bake for 8-15 minutes, depending on how you like your fish cooked. Top with Tomatillo salsa.

Artichokes
2 medium artichokes
juice from one lemon
salt

Remove leaves and choke, peel stem, leaving only edible bits of the artichoke. Boil for 10-15 minutes in water with the juice of one lemon and a tablespoon of sea salt. Serve with a squeeze of lemon juice, or lemon butter (1 part lemon juice to 4 parts butter). Lemon butter has about 70 calories per tablespoon.

Serve with 1/2 cup. non-fat cottage cheese

Simply Pineapple

Ohhh pineapple. I have distinct memories of disliking the overly sweet fruit, and up until a year or two ago, I had hardly touched the stuff. And then, at some point, I found myself cutting up a fresh pineapple and being amazed at how lovely it tasted. I've come to the conclusion that I probably never tasted pineapple that hadn't lived in a can of sugary syrup. Pineapple with a hint of tin? Not such good eats.

1 pineapple yeilds 4-6 1 cup (155g) servings. Each serving has 74 calories, 19.6 carbohydrates, 2.2 grams of fiber, 0.8 grams of protein, and 2mg of sodium.

Recipe:
Buy a pineapple and hack away!

"Focaccia" Rolls and Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup

"Focaccia" Rolls and Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup

1 cup. Pacific brand Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup, 1 Focaccia Roll = 200 calories

I've been craving the focaccia that I love so much, but I also wanted to slim it down. So I cut the original recipe in half, except for the oil, I used 2 tablespoons in the dough, and then 1/2 teaspoon to grease the pan and another 1/2 to pat on top of the rolls. This made 16 rolls, 90 calories each, but the flavor just isn't the same. They don't have the slightly sweet flavor of the original, and they have a somewhat bitter aftertaste - I'm guessing that comes from a lack of the olive oil. So, that's what I get for not kneading them by hand. My KitchenAid just wasn't a match for this dough.

At least the soup was good.

Recipe:
1 cup. Pacific brand Roasted Red Pepper and Tomato Soup, 1 Focaccia Roll

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Balsamic Glazed Chicken and Sweet Potato Pasta

Dinner for 2/15:

Balsamic Glazed Chicken and Sweet Potato Pasta

Makes 4 servings, 496.25 calories per serving.

Balsamic Glazed Chicken and Sweet Potato Pasta Recipe

Pasta
7 oz. angelhair pasta, prepared.

Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Onions
1 medium (523g.) sweet potato, 1/2 inch cubes
1 large onion (225g), sliced in 1/8 inch moons
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. fresh thyme

Preheat oven to 400°F. Toss all ingredients together on a cookie sheet, bake, stirring occasionally until tender and caramelized (45 - 60 minutes).

Chicken
8.5 oz. chicken breast, cubed
2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
1/2 tsp. fresh thyme
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 tsp. olive oil

Combine all ingredients in a zipper baggy, allow to marinate for 20 minutes in the refrigerator. Bring to room temperature and brown the chicken on all sides, about six minutes.

Pan Sauce
1 c. chicken broth

Remove chicken and deglaze the pan with 1 c. chicken broth, reduce by half.

Combine pan sauce, pasta, chicken and sweet potatoes.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Artichoke Lunch

Lunch for 2/13:

Artichoke with lemon butter, cottage cheese, and ham.

340 calories.

Artichoke with Lemon Butter, Cottage Cheese, and Ham Recipe

I don't always cut the top off the artichoke, but this one was large enough that I had to in order to keep it submerged. Boil for 15-20 minutes in salted water. Squeeze l whole lemon (about 4 tablespoons) into 1 stick of melted butter, serve artichoke with 2 tablespoons of the lemon butter, a slice of browned ham, and 1/2 cup of non-fat cottage cheese.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Yogurt with Grape-Nuts and Strawberries

Yogurt with Grape-Nuts and strawberries.

1 serving, 225 calories.

Low Calorie Yogurt with Grape-Nuts and Strawberries Recipe

113 grams nonfat yogurt (1/2 cup)
29 grams Post brand Grape-Nuts (1/4 cup)
80 grams strawberries

Throw into a bowl and eat!

Baked BBQ Chicken with Low Calorie Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

As far as my tomato obsession goes, I can usually hold myself over until late summer, when my grandma gets her first crop of the world's most perfect vine ripened goodness. I can usually open a bottle of last season's tomatoes and be perfectly content with the next-to-best thing. Usually being the key term. For the past few weeks, I've been unable to fight off the craving for fresh tomatoes, thankfully my grocery store has some surprisingly summery tomatoes, even if they are $5.00/pint. I'm finding that, if I eat fresh tomatoes with my meal, I'm far less likely to crave any of the sugary things that I love so much.

Dinner for 2/12:

Baked chicken with barbeque sauce, mixed vegetables, parmesan mashed potatoes, and tomatoes.

Recipe makes 2 servings, 423.5 calories per serving.
Baked BBQ Chicken with Low Calorie Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Parmesan Mashed Potatoes
350 grams potatoes
5 tb. nonfat sour cream
1/4 cup. lowfat milk
10 g. shredded parmesan
fresh parsley
salt and pepper to taste

Boil potatoes until tender (start on the chicken dish, they will be finished around the same time), then drain, mash and mix in remaining ingredients. Makes 2 servings, 205.75 calories per serving.

Chicken with Veggies and Barbeque Sauce
60 grams celery
36 grams green bell pepper
33 grams onion
7 grams jalapeno (roughly half of one)
1/2 tsp. olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
(2) 3.5 oz. chicken breasts, sprinkled with salt and pepper (should be around 3 oz. when finished cooking)
1 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp. Tony Roma's Original Barbeque sauce

Preheat oven to 350° F. Chop all vegetables, saute in 1/2 tsp. olive oil, move veggies to the outer rim of the pan and place the seasoned chicken breasts into the center of the pan and brown on each side. Move sauteed vegetables onto a piece of foil, place chicken breasts on top, and drizzle with the balsamic vinegar. Fold foil into a packet, making sure to get a good seal, and place in oven for 7-10 minutes. Remove chicken, plate, and add 1 tbsp. barbeque sauce over each breast. Makes 2 servings, 195.25 calories per serving.

Salted Tomatoes
Slice 250 grams grape tomatoes, sprinkle with salt, and serve. Makes 2 servings, 22.5 calories per serving.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Skillet Breakfast

Breakfast for 2/12:

Skillet breakfast: eggs, potatoes, spinach, ham, tomatoes, bell pepper, onion, and garlic

Two servings, 422 calories per serving.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Big Breakfast

Breakfast 2/11:

Eggs with onion, garlic and green peppers, ham, tomatoes with parsley, and fingerling potatoes with fresh thyme.

352 calories.

I generally have a bowl of oatmeal or yogurt with grapenuts for breakfast, but we wanted to start the day off with a good meal. I use 1 whole egg and 1-2 egg whites per person.

Rosemary and Onion Focaccia

Makes 20 servings, 120 calories per serving.

I have to admit, I'm completely obsessed with breads and pastas. Now, since starting a low-calorie diet at the beginning of the year, I have avoided refined/bleached flours and sugars, but some days, a girl just has to have her bread. This was made using an Ina Garten recipe that I slightly altered (6 tablespoons of olive oil in total, 2 in dough, 2 to grease pan, 2 on top of the bread). It's the first time I've made a successful bread, and it's probably the tastiest bread I've ever consumed.

Ina Garten's Recipe for Rosemary and Onion Focaccia

3 1/2 Cups strong white plain flour
2 1/2 Cups water, room temperature
2 Tbsp. sea salt
1 1/2 Tbsp fresh yeast or 3/4 Tbsp dried yeast
olive oil

Optional Toppings:
crushed garlic
rosemary
salt
sliced red onions
mint
coriander
cumin
salt

Pre-heat oven to 425 degrees. Sieve the flour into a large bowl, make a well in the middle and add the fresh yeast, salt, 2 3/4 Cups of the water and a good splash of oil. Mix all the ingredients together to form a dough. Transfer to a floured surface and knead for about ten minutes, until the dough is soft and elastic.

Put the kneaded dough into a very large bowl and brush it with olive oil, cover with loose cling film and leave to rise until it has trebled in size, about 1 to 1.5 hours.

After the dough has risen, knock it down and divide it into three. Liberally apply oil to three 9-inch round tins, then stretch each piece into a circle to fit the tin, pour enough olive oil over the dough to cover it, using your finger tips, press dents all over the top.

Now add the topping, pressing it into the dough to help the flavors penetrate. Then sprinkle more oil over the surface if desired, and finish by sprinkling some Maldon sea-salt over it.

Bake in the oven for 15 - 20 minutes until golden.

Canned Tomatoes

Canned tomatoes, 2005 crop:

My grandma usually does all of the canning, but this time I took over her kitchen and did the bushel or two of tomatoes. These were just tomatoes, but she also does them with onions, garlic, and green bell peppers. These make it a whole lot easier to cook low-calorie meals, and it's really nice to know where your food is coming from and what it's been put through before you use it.

Wendy's Mandarin Chicken Salad

Dinner for 2/10:

Image by Lisa Krantz / Naples Daily News

Wendy's Mandarin Chicken Salad with almonds.

447 calories.

When I don't really feel like cooking, I usually go for this salad. It's got more sugar and sodium in it than I'd like, but it also has a lot of great, healthful things in it. When you're not the one doing the cooking, you have to take what you can get as far as freshness and quality are concerned, so this salad offers a lot and I don't feel so guilty getting "fast food".

Recipe:

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Butternut Squash Soup

Dinner for 2/9:

Butternut Squash Soup with spinach and 7 whole grain pilaf.

Makes (2) 1.25 c. servings, 189 calories per serving.

I used a store-bought soup and dressed it up with fresh thyme, spinach and whole grains. The soup was a bit on the sweet side, and had cinnamon in it, which I don't love, but it was pretty darned tasty in that... oh this is healthy, so I can ignore the fact that it doesn't taste GOOD... sort of way.

Low Calorie Butternut Squash Soup Recipe
1 Box Pacific Brand Butternut Squash Soup (2 c.)
1 c. fresh spinach
1 pinch fresh thyme
1/2 c. Kashi Brand 7 Whole Grain Pilaf, prepared
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Farfalle Soup with Chicken and Turkey Sausage

Dinner for 2/8:

Farfalle Soup with chicken, turkey sausage, cauliflower, and canned tomatoes.

Makes (10) 1 c. servings
135 calories per serving.

Home bottled tomatoes were the key to this soup - I added a quart at the beginning, and another at the end so it would taste really fresh. I've been making a lot of soups in the past few months and this is my favorite.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Soy Broiled Pork Chops with Apples

Dinner for 2/7:

Soy Marinated Pork Loin Chop with Apples, Brussel Sprouts and Focaccia.

1 Serving, 343 calories.

This has to be the easiest way to cook a pork chop. Marinate it in soy sauce and sliced garlic (anywhere from ten minutes to two hours) place it on a cooking rack (I use a small bake rack on top of a foil-lined cookie sheet), grind lots of pepper over the top and place under the broiler.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Spinach Chicken Parmesan

Dinner for 2/6:

Spinach Chicken Parmesan with tomatoes and brussel sprouts.

257 calories.

Because I'm lactose intolerant, I don't generally use cheese when cooking, but there are a few dairy things that don't seem to bother me and parmesan cheese is one of them. This meal was really lean without it, so it needed a little something to balance it out. I'll definitely make this one often.

And so it begins...

I've never taken my health seriously. I remember feeling "fat" as young as 8, lying in the bathtub and squeezing my belly and being completely disgusted with myself. I wasn't fat, but as my lineage reads, a warped sense of self was inevitable. I started developing breasts around age 10, and everyone seemed to notice and make little jokes that they felt were harmless, but they rooted themselves into my subconscious and sprouted into strong insecurities that have followed me throughout my life. I was never a very healthy child or teen. I always had stomach problems, none of which were addressed in a proper way by a proper person. I was limited by my issues, and I became very anxious and depressed. With insecurity comes a process of distancing yourself from, well... yourself. The hardest person to find is yourself.

As an adult, I have found the reason for my stomach problems: an allergy to lactose. Simple as that. I'm a new person in a new body, it seems.

So, at the age of 26, after a lifetime of self-abuse, self-denial, and a general lack of self-control and self-knowledge, I am starting my journey toward self-awareness. By being good to myself, treating my body with love and respect, and enriching my mind with knowledge and skills, I plan to become the whole person that I was always meant to be.

Now, I've just re-read what I wrote, and it all sounds a bit like I've been watching too much Oprah. Oh well, it is what it is.

No recipe, obviously, blogger insists on putting this link on every post, it's an all or none sort of thing, I guess.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006